Another 5 of the Weirdest Horny Games on Steam

I’ve rustled up another round of Steam’s finest. Before we dig in I’ll remind you of the rules: no good games with sexual content, no common erotic game genres, and no kinkshaming.

Bad Day Betsy

Let’s kick things off with a recent addition to Steam’s bountiful storefront. This game appears to be the third attempt by the developer to reach out to fellow cock and ball torture enthusiasts looking to barely cover up fetish gameplay as cheeky fighting. The first two games, Dirty Fighter 1&2, must have been a little too subtle though because Bad Day Betsy is more of a reflex minigame where the only thing you can do is bash peoples’ genitalia. The game allows any combination of its stock masc and femme models but one look at who’s wearing the skimpy outfits and it’s clear who the game is for. Despite that, the developer really reaches for that female audience with the description “A fun game for the ladies! Having a bad day? Bust a guy’s balls!”

Woodstock 1969

woodstock.png
This one appears to have been pulled from the Steam store, but I have an echo of it here. There’s a massive cultural clash at work here. The Photoshop filtered images from Woodstock combined with garbage anime avatars immediately gives the sense of some sort of uncanny valley. Certainly the 60s in America and anime can and have been mixed together, but this smushing together of disparate aesthetics promises at least some level of strangeness. The description is vague copy pasting from the festival’s Wikipedia and the trailer is just some footage of the event, so this might be something I’ll have to actually try myself to see if there’s some gold in that weird lookin’ egg.

woodstock2.png
Milky Boobs

Brace yourself: “All the hot babes went crazy and there is only one thing that can cool them down. Your cool, thick and extra juicy milk! Mhhhh!” Yep, the summer sun is shining down on some cheap assets and this fps wants you to ask yourself some hard questions. Questions like: is this a lactation thing or a cum thing? Why is the milk cold if it’s supposed to be either? Why is the apparent goal to actually just knock everyone over? I want to take the chance here to let people know I’m not kinkshaming, but there are some serious design issues when it comes to getting this one across.

Reptiloids 2

The long anticipated sequel is here, or not, as this one also appears to have been wiped off the Steam store. Combining the once kooky, now tangentially fascistic, reptoid conspiracy with garden variety cishet gamer guy thirst. The gameplay looks to be in the Dark Souls vein, by way of Let it Die. The game pokes some fun at its self via tinfoil hats appearing on different characters, but the now almost quaint mixture of bunker basement conspiracy and girl-in-the-red-dress horniess is too sad for any self-depreciation to make a dent.

Doll of Ressurection

This weirdo gem is one that I’m going to have to at least give a try. You play as an abandoned inflatable sex doll struggling to make your way through a factory setting. Why does the sex doll factory have fire jets you need to caterpillar your silicone body under? Because this doll is forged in flame. The two current reviews compare it to Octodad and Dark Souls respectively so maybe there’s potential here as a bonkers streaming oddity.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s